Back in the good old days during my adolescent years, I experienced an obsession with Japanese anime. There was this one show called Fruits Basket. It’s been a lot of years since I have seen this show, but I have been thinking about a story that was told in one of the episodes lately, how it applies to my life, and how it applies to other people’s lives around me. I would like to share it with you.
It’s called The Most Foolish Traveler in the World:
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Once upon a time, there was a foolish traveler who had gone on a journey.
Why was he foolish? Well, because he was fooled by everyone he met!
“Please, some money for medicine…?”
Everywhere he went, people made up all kinds of sad stories to tell him, and the traveler fell for every one of them.
“I have a sick younger sister…”
“I don’t have money to buy seeds to plant in my fields.”
Pretty soon, his money, his clothes, even his shoes had been cheated away from him.
But the foolish traveler was always glad to help. And he always told the people the same thing.
He said: “I wish you happiness.”
But by this point, though, the traveler was completely naked, and with nothing left to cover himself, he decided to leave the main road and travel through the dense forest, where no one could see him…
But soon, he was discovered by the goblins that lived in the woods. The goblins wanted to eat the traveler’s body, so they begged and pleaded, and used
kind words to try and trick him… Of course, the traveler was fooled.
First, he let the goblins eat one of his legs. Then an arm. Then more and more… Before it was over, all that the traveler had left was his head. He’d even given his eyes away to the last of the goblins… And as that last goblin was eating the traveler’s eyes, he turned and said
“Thank you, traveler. In return, I leave you this present.”
What the goblin left was a slip of paper, with the word “fool” written on it. The traveler couldn’t see it. He didn’t know what it was. Even so, tears began to flow down his face.
“Thank you,” he said. “This is the first present anyone ever gave me. I’m so happy. I’m so happy. Thank you.”
Even without his eyes, he cried and cried, great tears of joy. Then, the traveler died, the smile still on his face.
-Fruits Basket
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No doubt about it this story is morbid! It is harsh to identify someone as kind as the traveler as a “fool”. I know a lot of people like the traveler in my life, including myself at times, and these types of people are the kindest and biggest hearted people. However, I think it is important to recognize there is some truthfulness to reality of the travelers unfortunate consequence.
I am getting my masters in counseling, so I know many people who run their lives to attend to other peoples’ needs (it is just the nature of the mental health profession, but these types of people can come from all walks of life). Maybe people have different reasons for doing this but I have a hunch about one of the main underlying reasons: these types of people get TONS of satisfaction through helping others. This doesn’t seem like a big problem except that if you are constantly attending to others, it is easy to lose site of your own needs, and in the bigger picture, to lose ownership of yourself. Even though it is true that we can use our support systems (family, friends, etc.) to help take care of us, we cannot solely rely on our support systems–our best caretaker and advocate is “the self”. Only we can fully meet the needs of our mind, bodies and souls as individuals. No one is going to make me exercise, eat right, and find my happiness but myself. Even if people could take care of each other to the fullest extent, the truth is that most people would not chose to because they are self interested.
The more and more we help others and let it consume us, the easier it is to “lose sight” like the traveler did (only in a figurative way). We become in a trance and numb to our own needs. We forget how much we should value ourselves to have a rich fulfilling life. It’s true that these types of people never take small acts of kindness for granted as small acts of kindness are rare. Typically these people find themselves being taken advantage of. Just as these “kind people” get into a pattern of living their lives only for others, the people around them may fall into a pattern of taking advantage. It seems as though the world will keep taking and taking from you until you firmly set the boundaries for it to stop. Some people are better at setting boundaries than others.
So- never lose site of how important it is to take care of YOU. You are important and deserve a little of your own attention from time to time.
Find a balance- be like the traveler when it’s appropriate but know your limits. After all, you probably want to keep your body parts and limbs, right? Just saying.
thesearchwithinme 