Actions are the best form of communication, measure of validation, and best way to show commitment. People emphasize words too often- which is understandable. Words are easy and fast to say. Words are also a good reflection of our feelings in the moment, but they do not represent who we are, what we want, and what are intentions are over a period of time. Every moment is important (don’t get me wrong) one moment doesn’t determine who we are over a long period of time. There are times when we really want our words to hold a lot of weight but more often then not it is actions that back up the truth of the words behind them… or back up that the words being said are empty.
Why do actions hold so much weight, but they are difficult for us to believe in? Why are words sometimes so empty, but we want so badly to believe them? I believe this has a lot to do with logic versus emotion. We value logic in our culture, and we want to believe in how things should be. Langage is directly connected to logic, so it is something we want to believe to be true all the time. However, actions are a reflection of something deeper- that is, instinctively and emotionally what we want. Our emotions are not usually based on logic and they do not follow the rule of how things “should be”. Emotions often get the best of us even when we try so hard to combat them with reason and logic. Actions are a direct result of our emotions… They come from somewhere deeper than logic. They come from the reality of how things actually are, while words come from how we think things ought to be.
Actions are the most valid communication tool because they take effort. Someone has to really mean something in a deep way to follow through with an action. If someone doesn’t make the effort to follow through with an action, it might say that the action didn’t align with how that person truly felt. People can pretend when they speak, but they cannot pretend when they do. So whenever you are hesitant about someone’s intentions or commitment, look at the history of their actions and that will tell you a lot. If you want to try to understand the rawness of how someone is communicating to you, you can observe their actions involving you and not necessarily their words. Sometimes accepting the raw truth is painful (especially when it is hard to understand) so it is easier to dismiss actions and pay attention to the things that help us believe what we want to believe. It is easy to ignore peoples actions when it is painful to face the reality of the intent behind them. But the intent is there, regardless of whether we want to ignore it or not. So the way I see it, the best option is for us to not ignore. Accepting the truth is not the easy route, but in the long run it is the most powerful route.
On a day when you are thinking about a relationship you have with someone, and are contemplating how you are benefitting from that relationship or what that person is all about remember: people’s actions will never lie to you. You can use that knowledge to protect yourself from bad situations. You can use that knowledge to make the best choices for you.
thesearchwithinme 